Sunday, November 30, 2008

Snowy Sunday

Oh my what a busy, yet relaxing, few days it's been. Thanksgiving day Dale and I went over to my mom's house with Marcela. We ate great food, looked at the fliers for Black Friday, talked and laughed and then went home. It snowed that day and everyday since. Jackson absolutely loveeeess the snow. He romps around in it and it's so cute. Too bad that our backyard has no grass so unfortunately his paws get a little muddy. Friday morning at 5a Dale and I went shopping with about 1/4 of Colorado Springs. I remember working in retail and how busy it always was, but that wasn't really the case this year. It makes me slightly nervous and makes me wonder when things will pick up and/or get better. Anyways, we got some great things at great prices and are almost halfway done with Christmas shopping. Yeah for that!! The rest of that day we slept and watched Christmas movies. Saturday was reserved for lunch with Carolyn and Melissa. Being with them and talking makes me appreciate my friendships that much more. I am truly blessed and fortunate to say that I have more than one best friend. That will be a blog for another day cause when it comes to my friends I have a lot of good things to say. Afterwards Dale and I went to the movies and saw Madagascar 2 followed by a chill night at home. Sunday was the usual laundry and football day. And we visited my mom, sis and nephew. Got a lot of couch time in this weekend, but I am already ready for more. Come on Christmas break!

P.S. Since I didn't really do a Thanksgiving blog I am most thankful for the following things: my gorgeous husband who to this day still gives me butterflies (or gas, I'm not sure), my amazing and beautiful friends (Mal, Marcela, Kels, Stacey, Melissa, Carolyn & Autumn) you girls always make me smile and your friendships mean the world to me, my immediate family who sometimes gets on my nerves, but I wouldn't change for anything, having a house and car and being able to pay my bills for the most part, my health and Dale's health, the ability to believe in things that I have never seen, my sense of humor, and finally... French fries.

I wish you all a great week filled with no stress and millions of smiles. Make it your own... make it a good one.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Ring Ring, Hello?

It's my birthday... TODAY! I had a fabolous weekend with my friends/family. We went to sushi on Friday night and celebrated. We talked, laughed and had great food. I got a beautiful new Coach purse from my sisters and my dad, some lovely smell good stuff from VS from my BFF Stacey, some makeup from my friend Melanie. My lovely husband got me makeup, perfume, and makeup stuff. I had all my friends there celebrating with me for my special, except my BFF Mal. :( Sooo sad. But she sent me a funny .25 cent card with a whole dolla in there to get me something special. Whooo hooo, it's about time!!

On to the continued story with my "father". He was supposed to be here for my birthday. I guess on Friday of last week he had some problems with his diabetes meds and ended up going to the hospital. So his wife calls me and tells me and asks for my address so they can ship a package to me. He supposedly got me a ring. We had been talking about it for the past few months but it was one of those things where I didn't wanna get my hopes up. Well I got it yesterday, and it's gorgeous (see pic to the right, except the center stone is brown). Unfortunately though he will not be making it this week. We spoke last night and he hopes to be able to come next month around Christmas. I told him, of course, that his health is more important than risking coming out here and God forbid something happens. So fingers crossed, we will meet next month!

Okay, finally, two more days til Thanksgiving. It's one of my favorite times of the year. I love food. I love family. I love food and family mixed together. I can't wait. I will be sure to post a Thanksgiving blog so look out for that one.

In the meantime thanks to all my special friends and family for making my birthday so wonderful. You all mean the world to me!

P.S. I had to come edit this cause Kels, Marcela and Stacey just brought me roses and my favorite pecan muffin thingies. YUMMMM. I feel so loved.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Any man can be a father...

So for any of my close friends and family most of you know that I have a biological father that hasn’t really been a part of my life. He and my mom split up right before I was born. They were married but only for about a year. According to my mom he cheated on her and according to him (now) he didn’t mess around until after my mom moved back to Germany. After I was born I saw him once when I was 4 after my mom and dad were married and moved back to the States. Saw my "father" and his wife for a few minutes when they came to NC when I was about 12. He brought me a Nintendo game that I really wanted. Apparently he asked my mom to take me to the mall and take me shopping. Not sure if this was to make up for lost time, but nonetheless my mom told him no later that night. He said he packed his shit and drove back home shortly after. So, a couple more years go by, no interaction between the two of us. His mom and dad sent me cards every year for my birthday and at Christmas, but other than that I had no interaction from them or even knew that side of my “family”. At fifteen I asked my mom and dad some questions. The usual kind of things any girl would ask. What happened? Why’d you get divorced? Why doesn’t he want anything to do with me? You get the point. Also, around this time my dad wanted to legally adopt me so my last name would be the same as his, my mom and my sisters. In order to do that my bio would have to relinquish all of his rights as my “father”. So time goes on and I tell my Grandmother I am looking for my “father”. Apparently she passes on the message to her son and wah laa he calls. We talk a couple times for about 2 weeks. I was 15 and he told me that he had a car for me, asked me to come to Alabama to visit and yadda yadda. I was scared, didn’t know him from Adam, and decided not to go. I think he sent me $50 for my birthday and then we just kinda stopped talking. It was kind of a mutual thing. On my end I thought he was just full of shit like my mom said he would be. It was hard to build a relationship with someone over the phone when we really had nothing to talk about. And it was even harder that I had a dad at home, that loved me and cared for me like his very own. Sooooo, 12 years fast forward…. We never talked after I turned 16. I occasionally sent pictures to my Grandmother with snide little comments like, “pass this on to my father if he cares”. But we have had no contact- Until June of this year. Out of the blue he calls my mom and says that he wants to get in touch with me. His daughter. His daughter that he hasn’t had shit to do with pretty much all my life. And now that I am happy, married, educated, own a house and a car, grown, and working on a career… nooooow he wants to be a part of my life. My very first instinct was fuck that. What could he possibly want? What could he possibly say to establish any type of relationship at this point? After years and years of bitterness, anger and resentment for feeling somewhat abandoned by a man I have met twice in my life and spoke to on the phone maybe 3 times. I don’t even know how to feel. So, we have been talking almost weekly since the end of June. A couple times we only have talked about every other week, but when we speak it’s usually for about an hour. We’ve talked about the past. We’ve talked about the now. He’s asked me lots of questions and I’ve asked him a few. Mostly we are both trying to fill in gaps and see what happens. Well, now he is supposed to come out here next week for my birthday. I am super anxious and nervous and excited all jumbled in to one big gut ball of nerves. I have so much to say that I haven’t said over the phone. Some things are better left to be said in person. I like to be able to judge someone’s reactions and unfortunately the phone doesn’t allow for facial expressions to come through. I will be sure to update everyone next week on my continued saga.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Clothes Make Me...

I'm sure you've all heard the expression, clothes don't make the man, the man makes the clothes, or something to that affect. Well today I am the man, and I make the clothes. It was a good day. Got a new shirt on, hair was cute, makeup was cute, I felt good. I don't necessarily consider myself to be conceited in the least. I like to think of myself as confident... annnnd maybe a little cocky. BUT, I am only that way because my husband seriously blows my head up so big that I can barely fit it through the door.

Anyways, point is - it's nice to feel good about yourself. It's nice to have a pep in your step and not be worried about what people think of you or your outfit. Don't get me wrong, I by no means seek other peoples approval on how I look or dress. I do me. You do you. It don't matter what you think and unless I specifically ask for your opinion, I really don't care to hear it. LOL, unless it's a compliment. But that's a given. So my advice to you, find something that you feel good in, take the time to do your hair/makeup, you'll be surprised how it makes you feel.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thursday Rant

So, this may be TMI, but I got my . yesterday and for some reason am a total bitch this morning. Most women PMS. I just MS!

Anyways, my husband, who’s name shall remain anonymous as he said he would sue me for slander, decides to bring his coffee into the bathroom this morning. Which in my opinion is absolutely gross because he put it on the sink (right next to the toilet) where there are piss and shit particles floating around I’m sure. Aside from that, he gets in the shower- a nice, hot, steamy shower- and we are chatting for a minute. He sticks his head out and says, “can you hand me my coffee”? I was like, “what, NO, you’re in the shower”. So after a minute or too, I decided for him that he could wait until he got out of the shower to drink his coffee. What the hell???? Is this normal? Do people really need to drink coffee, or anything for that matter, while they are in the shower?

So next episode- I am trying to get ready for work. Feeling proud of myself for getting off the couch and getting my butt in gear. I was finally going to be on time to work and had a pep in my step. I could not find a freaking thing to wear. And any one that knows me, knowwwwws how much clothes I have. It’s ridiculous. I have clothes everywhere. Even Dale helped me look for an outfit. After finally finding something that I really didn’t wanna wear I started to do my makeup and my hair. I kept dropping shit and my cat was meowing at my feet because he wanted water from the bathtub faucet. The dog wanted to be laying at my feet so that didn’t work out to well because the cat was there. I was getting irritated to say the least. My supposed good morning and good day was turning into an aggravating hurried attempt to not be too late to work.

Fifteen minutes late to work…. Open my email and the girl that normally covers my lunch (since I am now at the front desk) is out today for training. Did I know about this before hand to make appropriate lunch arrangements? Noooooooo. Cause she remembered last minute. Late last night. And sent the email at 7am this morning. Okay no big deal. I will ask someone else. Oh wait, the someone else is already covering for me later so I can leave early today. Won’t be right to ask her for more, that’s just not fair. So I will eat at my desk and leave a half day tomorrow. Might as freaking well, I already have 3 hours of overtime this week.

Oh, and one more thing about my work. I DO NOT know everything that goes on just because I sit at the front desk. I do not have a freaking crystal ball and CAN NOT see in to the future. NO, I do not know where someone went to. NO, I do not know what a certain meeting is about in the conference room. No, I am not your freaking mother and will not continuously put your dishes away cause you are a lazy S.O.B. DO NOT keep calling me to reach someone after I told you 10 times they are not available and I will have them call you back. Yeah for caller ID, cause I will just start ignoring your calls.

This rant could go on, but for the sake of my sanity I will end it here. Sheesh almighty. Lord, can’t it just be 4 o’clock already?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I voted, did you?

Like almost half of our population I was and have been a faithful McCain follower. I won't get in to the symantics of it or my reasoning behind it, but I will put that out there. Soooo, now that the election is over and the stage lights are shut off I sit here wondering. I wonder what will happen next. I wonder how it will all play out. I wonder if Obama will really be the change that we so desperately need.

On the flipside, I am SO very happy to be a part of "history" and get to experience our first 'black' president. Having an ethnic studies minor, I took many college courses about race and gender. I am excited for the possibilities and what it all means for our children and childrens children.

So here's to change! Here's to my new blogspot. And here's to the unknown.